Shaunindustry's Journals

This Just In...

I have a new comedy series I'm starting that consists of a short, fake, news-style story just for fun, called This Just In... Check out my blog for more details and tell a friend, y'all!

Whaddya think?

So, whaddya think of my header? Not bad for someone that sucks at Photoshop, eh?

Recent Interview with 'SCENE' Magazine.

Hereâ�™s a transcript of the recent interview I did for SCENE magazine.

An Industrial-Sized Dose of Shaun Industry

From SCENE Underground Magazine, Written By Mike Nguyen

When I asked Blaine how I would know who Shaun Industry was when he met me at the coffee shop today, Blaine said, â�œOh, youâ�™ll know him. Just look for the guy that looks like Pete Wentz with green eyes.â� That definitely had my interest â�“ a cute gay writer with awesome taste in music? Sign me up!

I arrived about fifteen minutes early to Little City on Congress and sat toward the front waiting for Shaun to show. This particular coffee shop is known for its hip, trendy and often gay crowd. I was checking out the hot little barista when I spotted a handsome guy with a green cap on his way to the bar. He was wearing a lime green Trailer polo and ripped jeans. His green eyes were shining emerald, complimented by his shirt. I thought, could this be the infamous Shaun Industry? Then, he smiled. It was a smile I believed to be patented by Pete Wentz himself and I knew that this must be â�œthe Industry.â�

I waved him over and he brought his mocha, decaffeinated latte and sat down. After the introduction, Shaun went straight to business with the interview.

SI: Well, I guess it must be a slow news day for Blaine to want you to interview me. (laughs)

MN: Not at all! Blaine and some of the other guys talk about you all the time. He did warn me that you are painfully sarcastic, though.

SI: ME? NEVER!

MN: Blaine also mentioned that you look a lot like Pete Wentz.

SI: Yeah, Iâ�™ve gotten that a lot. I was in LA not too long ago and was greeted by a crowd of screaming teenage girls. At first, I thought that somehow they knew who I was, but I was confused. Then one of them screamed, â�œI love you, Peteâ� and I knew what was going on. Frankly, I wonder how many people pay attention â�“ firstly, I have no tattoos and Pete has two sleeves. Secondly, Wentz is pretty short and Iâ�™m 6â�™1â�.

MN: Well, there is a major resemblance in the face.

SI: Itâ�™s the teeth and the smile.

MN: Thereâ�™s a rumor that youâ�™re related to him going around locally.

SI: Is there? Well, I havenâ�™t heard it.

MN: Thereâ�™s something you arenâ�™t telling me.

SI: No. (smiles) See, thatâ�™s the first rule of self-promotion: donâ�™t deny any rumor, just remain silent. (laughs)

MN: Thereâ�™re rules about that sort of thing?

SI: Oh yeah, Iâ�™m writing a blog about it soon. Youâ�™ll have to look for it online; you know, like take a time machine to the early nineties when Al Gore invented the Internet.

MN: Hey, buddy!

I prod him a bit for his jibe.

SI: Sorry, sorry. Next question.

MN: So, are you ready for Internet celebrity?

SI: (laughs) No, no, I have no delusions of grandeur. I mean, the Internet is a media outlet, for sure, but all Iâ�™m trying to do is get my voice heard. Iâ�™m doing a lot of work now and collaborating on a lot of projects and I just really want to reach as many people as I can. Speaking of which, when is SCENE getting a web site?

MN: Weâ�™re not getting one. Thereâ�™s a big split in philosophy between some of the guys working on the magazine about whether or not we should go online, but the bulk just want to stay â�˜underground.â�™

SI: Yeah, I knowâ�¦ but what about a Myspace page?

MN: Oh, Myspace is way too mainstream. Theyâ�™re owned by the big â�˜Mâ�™ now!

SI: McDonalds?

Shaun gives me a clever little smirk.

MN: (laughs) No, Microsoft.

SI: Oh, â�˜Micro-slutâ�™! Well, are you going to have to type this all up and telegraph it to the future?

MN: (laughs) No, Iâ�™ll type it up and send it to the editorial desk.

SI: And whereâ�™s that, 1984?

MN: Okay, back to your web presenceâ�¦

SI: Okay, back to that.

MN: What do you think of some of the other weblebrities out there: Matthew Lush, Jeffery Star, Perez Hilton, Chris Crocker, etcetera?

SI: Iâ�™ve havenâ�™t met any of them yet, so I really havenâ�™t formed an opinion. They seem to all be doing what they want to do and I really wish them the best.

MN: Oh, come on, you can dish a little!

SI: Thereâ�™s really nothing to dish. I mean, I donâ�™t agree with the message or persona of every web-queer, but Iâ�™m not going to dish anyone in print â�“ Iâ�™ve read my James St. James.

MN: At least, can you tell me what you think of this web-war between Matthew Lush and Jeffery Star?

SI: I heard about that. All I can really say is that the webâ�™s a lot like alcohol: it subtracts a good decade or so off some peoplesâ�™ maturity level, plus they are both really youngâ�¦ I think Matthewâ�™s heart is in the right place most of time, but his ideals arenâ�™t really all that realistic. And, well, you canâ�™t shove your ideals down everyoneâ�™s throat. The most you can do is encourage and inspire people to be better.

MN: So, what are you working on now?

SI: A lot! Really, Iâ�™m having a great time. Iâ�™m working on a graphic novel with an unbelievable artist named Ben Beaty, called Lucid:Ragnarok and Iâ�™m working on my novel, A Million Ways To Be Cruel and my blog, of course. Iâ�™ve also been approached about adapting a one-act play I wrote for a young-adult audience in a book format.

MN: So, I know what A Million Waysâ�¦ is about, but tell me about Lucid.

SI: Most of it is pretty hush-hush at the moment, but basically itâ�™s about an epic battle between ancient gods that are, in fact, living dreams.

MN: Sounds awesome! Whenâ�™s it due out?

SI: Well, soon, hopefully. I was actually working on it with another artist who had some personal troubles and had to leave the project. But Ben is onboard now and I couldnâ�™t be happier with the way things are going.

MN: Wow, youâ�™re doing a lot! So whatâ�™s next for â�œthe Industry.â�

SI: Well, a friend of mine suggested that I make some T-shirts with some quotes from my writing on them.

MN: Ah, so could a clothing line be in order?

SI: Itâ�™s a possibility. Iâ�™ve always wanted an underwear line. I love underwear!

Shaun gets up at this point and shows me his underwear â�“ a cute red boxer-brief with drawings of a cartoon turtle.

MN: Youâ�™re not too shy, I see.

SI: I KNOW! I used to be really shy. It was hard to talk to new people or even look them in the eye. Thatâ�™s one of the really great things about reinventing yourself: you get to define who youâ�™ll be and you donâ�™t feel obligated to act any certain way. Really, itâ�™s been a great experience for me.

At that point, we decided to end our interview. The story? Shaun Industry is a class-actâ�¦ with a cute butt! I snuck a little peek as he was leaving and Iâ�™m alright with that.

The Interview Is Done and Done.

Well, the interview went well last night. I still can't believe that SCENE has no web presence at all! Holy crap, Batman, even my Grandmother has e-mail! Mike, the interviewer, just kept telling me that they're "an underground thing" and didn't want to be "mainstream". How is owning a website mainstream? Is everyone there wearing foil hats to work to avoid the CIA from reading their brainwaves? Oh well, I guess I'll drop it. The thing is, I like to understand things and when I don't it bugs the living cabbage patch outta me.

Mike said he'll e-mail me a copy to post when he finishes typing it up - another contradiction... They'll type something up on a computer and e-mail it, but they won't post it online? I guess they just have to do everything with a little added thorn for realism - takin' that bold step toward the early nineties.

Alright, I'm over it. So over it. Moving on now...

I went on a shopping spree this morning online. You know what? Why are all the coolest graphic Tees made only for women? I don't get it! I mean, I'm probably going to make somebody some money when I say this and they steal the idea, but a company could make some greenbacks by printing typical women's Tees in men's fits and sizes.

For example, I really want this Blondie Tee:

And it's not just gay men that would buy it! I know plenty of metros who would rock a Blondie Tee.

Then I get uber pissed when I see that there is a super-dope Wonder Woman Tee, also only for ladies.

But I did get a coolio Wonder Woman Belt Buckle.

And I also got, my favorite ('cause I love the color green and Kyle Rainer was drawn effin hot!), a Green Lantern Tee.

I also love Astro Boy, so I got this one too:

Awesomeness!

You know what folks? I have some awesome friends - online and off! I know so many wonderful and talented people, it's amazing to think how blessed I am to know you all. Thank you for your support!!!

In other news, Blaine has asked me to do a full interview with one of his reporters for SCENE. It must be a SLOW news day. Oh, well, it sounds like fun - even if they are just underground and have a very limited distribution, it's still cool to be asked.

Hey, once someone sneaks into a stranger's house to take a nap, they'd better get used to the pot-shots!

Not that I don't like Gwenith, but I think they should get Anne Heche to play Pepper in the next Iron Man, just to add to the crazy-things-we've-done-while-under-the-influence factor.

A Not-So-Modest Proposal

The cost of food is soaring due to the overwhelming demand placed on production by China and India. In fact, just about every commodity is subject to the recent high demand, limited supply and Americans are further crunched by inflation and the weak dollar. So, Iâ�™ve developed this not-so-modest proposal: letâ�™s eat people.

Jonathan Swift Flakes â�˜O Human now has real Irish Baby Marshmallows! Swift Flakes are PEOPLE â�“ delicious people!

Mikey doesnâ�™t like it, because itâ�™s made of Mikeyâ�™s Mommie.

Donâ�™t get into a tizzy PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals?), Kentucky Fried Human only serves free range people.

Itâ�™s so good youâ�™ll lick other peoples' fingers!

And thatâ�™s not all! Did you know that urine can be recycled by the body up to three times? Thatâ�™s right - you can drink your own urine. With all the fresh water shortages we are sure to encounter in the future, youâ�™re gonna need to drink something.

Weâ�™re here in this posh New York suburb and weâ�™ve replaced little Cindyâ�™s lemonade with urine. Will little Tina be able to taste the difference? Letâ�™s watch!

My Play In One Act: "How to Bake A Savory Savior"

How To Bake A Savory Savior

(A Play In One Act)

by

Shaun Industry

Lights up. We open on a dimly lit bedroom, sparsely decorated. The room is almost without cheer and certainly without charm. We happen upon Salvador slumping, saggy-shouldered and bent-backed on his bed. Shadows taunt him on the stage while he remains montionless. His breathing is steady and rhythmic â�“ itâ�™s the only sign of life.

Archivist

Excerpt from the Dade County Newletter.

Salvador

On July 4th, 1998, Maria Conception Reyes past away of a cancer related illness leaving behind her parents Teresa and Julio Cuevas (estranged), her husband Anthony Renaldo Reyes, and her son Salvador (fifteen).

Archvist

Journal of Salvador Reyes, October 2, 1996.

Salvador

Mi madre, Maria, was a child of Christ. She sang songs about the virgin, about the love of Christ, about Saint Teresa and Miguel and Juan. Her heart was pregnant with fire, a devotion that burned in her eyes. She lit candles and prayed every night for a better life for her family. Then when she was sixteeen, Christ fufilled her greatest prayer. Her family came to America on June 12th, 1983. None of the family spoke even a word of English, and only Mariaâ�™s back was unbroken by the heavy life of Mexico. Maria was the sole source of income for the underpriviledged family of five immigrants. She worked nights at the Spanish market, picking up a word or two of English while sacking groceries for the marketâ�™s abuelitas. She spent her days taking English classes at the Hispanic Community Center, where she met her first love Patrick and my father, Francisco. Patrick was a volunteer at the center, a graduate student at the local university, and my motherâ�™s tutor. He was Irish. He was tall, with wavy brown hair, and hazel eyes... he was pale perfection. As mi madre described him: â�˜white gold.â�™ Mama speaks of him fondly and often. The way she speaks, even I am in love with him. She carries a picture of him in her handbag and kisses it every night before she goes to sleep. He was going to be her salvation; he was going to be her life. She doesnâ�™t talk much about the last night of her classes though. I know only that, as she was cutting her way through the icy wind of that autumn night, Francisco offered her a ride. Patrick refused to see her afterward. My mother refused to pray. So cold was that night that the fire in her heart soon leapt to her womb. She gave birth to fire: conception.

Again the lights go down and we see only Salvadorâ�™s shadow menacing the room. The air is arctic and the feeling is distressing. We see this shadow remove a revolver from underneath the pillow. Salvador spins the chamber of the gun after locking it; a sharp click follows. He raises the the revolver to his temple. His index finger fidgets on the trigger. His resolve builds and thought becomes action. When the hammer strikes, there is no resulting spark. The corresponding chamber does not house a bullet. The remaining light left on stage is lowered, quivering as darkness envelopes the room.

(Lights up)

SALVADOR (as MARIA)

A soft Mexican accent now marks Salvadorâ�™s speech.

Salvador, Salvador... please wake up, hijo! Please! We canâ�™t stay here. you have to come with me, hijo. Papa wonâ�™t let us stay. Please, Salvador! You have to come with me. Antonio is waiting for us. He will let us be with him. We canâ�™t stay here. We canâ�™t stay. They forbid it. They will not talk to me. Papa... papa called me a puta! I am not a whore! I am not... What? Salvador, I am not! Do not believe your abuelo! You... you... (Reluctant and defeated, Salvador (as Maria) halts his frantic persuasion and lets his head fall to the floor. His anger swells suddenly and he is simmering with rage, he holds his hand high above him and delivers a blow to what would be Salvadorâ�™s face.) Basta! You would be borned Salvador. You would be... It was not... not free... choice, not my choice to sleep with Francisco. Donâ�™t ever say that again. (Salvador (as Maria) swats at the bed to halt the imaginary writhing of Salvador. As his composure returns, his hand covers his face, covering his regret. He scans the room and sits at the corner of the bed. He takes a glance back at Salvador. Shaken, he continues.) Par... pardon, Salvador. I am sorry. (pause) Salvador, you know, when you was a baby, you was really small. Los medicos said you was gonna die, they say you was just born too early. (smiling) I think it was the last time you ever gonna be early, hijo. (nevously laughs). You had little feet and little toes. You just look and look around you. It like you owned the world. It like you give life to me. You was so small, so helpless. You would be so quiet, but the other babies: they cry and cry, but no you. I think you never cry. Mi madre thought you was born without a soul. She think all kids born in America have no soul. I know better, hijo. You have fire, hijo. You have a soul. (Catching a glimpse of Salvadorâ�™s eyes, a shiver tickes Salvador (as Maria)â�™s spine. He trembles in a fearful motion. Salvador (as Maria) remembers his purpose, collects himself and rises from the bed.) We have to go now. In the morning Papa will be awake to watch us leave. I try to say goodbye, but that isnâ�™t what he want. You think I plan this? You think I want to leave? You think I ever want to leave, hijo? I donâ�™t have a choice. I didnâ�™t have a choice, but I want you. You are the only thing I want! Tu eres un milagro maravilloso! I didnâ�™t want to sleep with Francisco, he force me. After all he took from me, he gave you to me. Tu eres un milagro! (another dramatic switch) Antonio needed money, Salvador. Tu abeulo called me a puta, no Antonio. He likes you a lot Salvador. Come with me, please.

The frantic pace slows. A gruff voice calls from outside.

Man

Maria! (pauses) Maria! (louder)

Slavador (as Maria) turns to look at the door, then turns back to look at his motherâ�™s son. He crosses toward the bed and plants an imaginary kiss on what would have been his own forehead. Lost in the moment, we catch a glimpse of the real Salvador as he brings his hand to his head in remembrance of the gentle moment.

Salvador (as Maria)

Te amo, hijo.

He stops for a moment. He rushes toward, and out the door. Door slam.

Blackout.

Another slam.

Salvador

Mama, I want to go with you mama.

Again we see the shadow of Salvador on the stage. The revolver is becoming more comfortable in his hand.

Archivist

Argument of the deputy prosecutor Jonathan Weeks of Dade County, December 17th, 1999.

Salvador

It is the confession of these two juveniles that on the night of November 25th, they did unlawfully enter the courtyard of Saint Francis Chrurch. It is also their confession, your Honor, that they did take - with intent to deface -the statue of the baby Jesus from his manger display area. This case is cut and dry, your honor. The only thing left is the sentencing. We cannot allow such blasphemous acts of brutality towards a public display of church property to go unpunished, even if two juveniles commit such a crime. It is disturbing that one of these boys is of the Jewish faith. It is even further disturbing that one of the perpetrators is a Catholic himself. This act is beyond criminal, it is sociopathic (pause) No, your honor, I do not believe I am going overboard. I recommend that these two boys be placed under psychological observation.

Archivist

Sentence delivered by the Honorable Harrison Parks, 417th Presinct Judge

Salvador

Due to the age of the defendants, and in light of their confessions, I hereby order Salvador Reyes and David Gold be placed under immediate house arrest for a period of three months, followed by six months of probation. Furthermore, I order both guilty parties to be subject to psychiatric observation. The boys are to have no contact with each other during the duration of their sentence. This hearing is adjourned.

He pauses for a moment, and then loads another bullet. The chamber spins in a dance of terror. Salvador uses he temple as a ledge for the barrel. Another click follow, still no spark - no fire. Lights down.

Lights up. We see Salvador with a tie around his neck, over his T-shirt. His posture is much improved.

Salvador (as Dr. Rich)

Alright Sal, I apologize for the wait. I am pretty new to this so, letâ�™s just cut right to the chase, shall we? I am concerned Sal; the court is concerned. You were found guilty of some pretty serious crimes for a boy your age: theft, destruction of private property, vandalism. This is hardly the sort of act I would expect out of an honor student. Even the brightest of young people sometimes lose their way, or are led astray. Is that what happened to you Sal? did you lose your way, or did someone lead you astray? (pause, waiting for a response that clearly doesnâ�™t come) Youâ�™re not talking to me Sal. That is your choice, but remeber that is what we are talking about here: choices. You do have choices, donâ�™t you Sal? (pause) Thatâ�™s alright Sal. You donâ�™t want to talk to me? You can nod your head, be monosyllabic, but I am paid to do a job here. Iâ�™m here to find out what has gone wrong in your life, as of late. (beat) Well, obviously something has gone wrong Sal. People who are doing well donâ�™t steal from chuch courtyards, or burn holy icons. What kind of action was this Sal? Burning the baby Jesus in a gas oven? You have to help me on this one. Why would you do such a thing? (pause, irritated) Sal, you can beat whatever it is that is bothering you; you just have to focus in on what is right. Now donâ�™t tell me you think what you did was right. (annoyed, but still without any significant loss of control) Donâ�™t turn away from me. I didnâ�™t come here to talk to myself. Youâ�™re still not talking to me Sal. Well, then I will talk to you. Salvador, I live by that church. I just moved there a week before you and your friend decided to terrorize my new neighborhood. My children play in that courtyard. What can I tell them when they want to go see the nativity scene they helped to set-up? Should I tell them that some very disturbed young men saw fit to put the baby Jesus in a gas oven to exact some sort of derranged vengance on life, or religion, or death? That is what this is about, isnâ�™t it Slavador? Youâ�™re mad about your motherâ�™s death. You have that right. You have every right to be mad at whoever you want. But you donâ�™t have the right to take away the rights of others. You donâ�™t have the right to put God on trial! Keeping silent isnâ�™t helping anyone Salvador. I know what it is like to lose a loved one. You feel trapped, you feel helpless, you feel like no one and nothing around you is permanent. You think that someday, you are going to lose everything and everyone. You feel like a martyr. Youâ�™re willing to turn to anything or anyone who will make you feel alive again. Am I right Salvador? I am, arenâ�™t I? I am here Salvador. I am here, and you can talk to me. I can help you.

Salvador (as Dr. Rich) pulls his chair close to Salvadorâ�™s own. The distance between them is no longer comfortable and Salvador (as Dr.Rich) reaches a hand out to touch upon the arm of the chair and the hand of the invisable Salvador. As he speaks, he moves his hand from the arm of the chair to place it on Salvadorâ�™s knee. Salvador (as Dr. Rich) begins to pull the conversation away from the saftey of before.

Who was the boy you stole the staute with? A boy from school? A Neighbor? Who? (pause) And was it this Davidâ�™s idea to take the statue, or yours? You can tell me, Sal. We are going to keep our session completely confidential. (pause) It was your idea then? But why? (pause) Why did David want to do that Sal? Why did David what to disfigure the statue? (pause) I am confused as to what Joan of Arc had to do with this; I thought that David was Jewish. (pause) That is very interesting, Sal. Do you think his interest in saints is somehow connected to you being Catholic? Sal, do you think that this David is attracted to you? (pause) I donâ�™t see why not Sal, you are a very handsome boy. (lecherous now) Are you attracted to David? Are you attracted to boys? (pause) Sal, it is alright to be attracted to other boys. (Salvador (as Dr. Rich) continues prudently, careful to conceal his motive) I am attracted to you, for instance. There is nothing wrong with being physically attracted to another human being - itâ�™s healthy. It is not healthy, however, to get caught up with someone who does you harm. Do you understand Sal? (standing behind Salvadorâ�™s chair, Salvador (as Dr. Rich) begins to massage invisable shoulders) I know that this is difficult for you. You and David must have been pretty close to risk this kind of punishment. Tell me Salvador, (Salvador (as Dr. Rich) begins to move his hands lower to Salvadorâ�™s chest) has David ever kissed you? I want to kiss you. (leans in) You know Sal, I could make things a lot easier for you. I like things to be nice for my friends. You are my friend, right Sal? I thought so. In exchange sometimes my friends make things nice for me. (Salvador (as Dr. Rich) unzips his pants, pulling a grasping hand toward his crotch.) Oh, thatâ�™s a good boy. That is a very good boy.

Lights down. Salvador has a bullet ready. He spins the chamber. He swallows the barrel of the gun. Salvador jerks the trigger yet again, fruitlessly.

Lights up.

Archivist

Journal of Salvador Reyes, October 3rd, 1999

Salvador

Thereâ�™s a new boy in class. His name is David, and he is beautiful. He doesnâ�™t look like any other beautiful boy I have ever seen. He looks nothing like Juan or Jacob, but he is beautiful. His skin is pale, and his nose is kinda long. His black hair is glossy and curled in ringlets that hang over his forehead, and occasionally fall over his eyes. When Ms. Baker introduced him to the class she made it a point to mention that Davidâ�™s family is Jewish. I am not entirely sure what Jews believe. My foster parents say that Jews donâ�™t believe in America or Jesus. If you ask me, I donâ�™t think that Jesus believes much in America. He wears a Jewish star around his neck. I was embarrassed, but he looked so lonely at lunch today that I asked him what the star was called. He laughed and tugged at the silver. He said it was the â�œStar of David.â� Davidâ�™s star.

David and Salvador have just returned from their pillage of the church courtyard. They have burned the statue to a nice crisp and are relaxing from the earlier strain. They are anything but remorseful.

Salvador (as David)

I canâ�™t believe is Salvador, I have never even been to a church before. If my father ever finds out, heâ�™ll disown me. Stealing is one thing, but blasphemy is a whole â�˜nother can of worms. (laughs) Man, it melted quick! So much for my theory: I guess even holy things can burn. Even Joan of Arc burned in the end. Do you know she united the entire kingdom of France. She made a man a king. I guess she was like (singing badly) â�œthe yellow rose of Texas.â� Except of course, Joan actually fought... with a sword. (pause) Oi, listen to me! I guess Iâ�™m not much of a Jew after all. I suppose it doesnâ�™t really matter. I mean, I like hotdogs, real hotdogs, not that Hebrew National shit. Pork: itâ�™s the food of kings... and lumberjacks, bowling alley workers, baseball players, and dont forget the destitute. (laughs) (Salvador (as David) stops in preponderance of a question) It wasnâ�™t always cooked right, a lot of people died from instestinal parasites in the old days. Yeah, I guess it doesnâ�™t make a lot of sense nowadays. My mom always says: â�œif it made sense, it wouldnâ�™t be a religion.â� I think that mom doesnâ�™t think a lot of God. Oh, she is Jewish to the core, but she barely listens when the Rabbis speak. I guess that it doesnâ�™t really matter what people say. Words are just words. The Bible, the Torah: just words. Why do people think that just because something was written a long time ago that itâ�™s automatically filled with truth, or wisdom, or some sort of mysterious knowledge from a lost sage like Solomon? (beat) Hey, come to think of it, we are a lot like Solomon, you and I. Except we decided to burn the damn baby instead of cutting it in half. Who would suggest cutting a REAL baby in half, anyways? Thatâ�™s a lot like Marry Poppins making the kids dance on rooftops. Or those damn Von Trappâ�™s making their kids sing to Nazis. Thereâ�™s a fine line between entertainment and child abuse. (pause) Yeah, you like it? Mom made me cut it shorter in the back then last time. I used to have really long hair in the back before my friend at my old school, Rosalie Moravik, told my I had a Jewish mullet. No really! Wanna see? (Salvador (as David) produces a wallet from his back pocket and hands it to the left) This is my old school ID. Look, look at the curls popping over my shirt collar. That... that... is a friend of mine from Pickett. He... uh... he was just a friend. I donâ�™t know why I drew the heart over his face. I guess I just miss him is all. (Salvador (as David) takes a pensive glance to his left, then a sorrowful look at the picture in the wallet.) Stop looking at you hands, theyâ�™re not red! No one could have seen us. The light was probably just someone getting a glass of milk before bed. Someone new must have moved in. I saw a lot of boxes stacked outside and a moving van out front. I think Iâ�™ve seen that car somewhere else though, the medical park maybe. Anyway, they were probably too tired to care. (Unable to contain the emotions about to overflow, Salvador (as David) continues almost breathlessly) I... Iike you... a lot, Salvador. (pausing) You are so cute!

Salvador (as David) bows forward in a tender, uncertain attempt to steal just one kiss. He inhales the scent of the scene, and then jumps at the opportunity. For one moment, Salvador is locked in the remembrance of that fragile moment. He would, if he could, live in it forever. Startled by a motivation so monstrous in proportion to this happenstance, Salvador (as David) rockets from his place next to the imaginary Salvador and yells back at him.

Salvador (as David)

I canâ�™t! Not again! My dad will never forgive me! I wonâ�™t go back. I wonâ�™t go back to see another damn psychiatrist. I wonâ�™t! (Salvador (as David) dissolves from the scene and leave Salvador with a deadly resolve.)

Lights down.

Lights up. There is just enought light to see Salvador in the beginning. Slowly, more and more light pours in, until we spy Salvador, gun in hand and pointed to his head. He spins the chamber one last time.

Salvador

This is the decision. Uncertainty is a decision, you see. He asked me if I had a choice! That goddamn child molester asked me if I had choices in life. All choices in this life have the same possibilities: freedom, boredom, life, or death. Choices and probabilities. Coincidences and certainties. (to audience) Can I ask you something? What are you afraid of? Nudity? Public Speaking? Love? Death? Life? Living death? Are you afraid to stop dreaming? Are you afraid to leave an American dream (hurriedly) I donâ�™t have answers! (frustrated) For every question, I only have another question; until the last question...

With a renewed, yet nervous vigor, Salvador returns the gun to its place at the side of his brow. Darkness rushes over his body and the audience. In the darkness, the air freezes to a solid mass. When the startling effect begins to drop, we hear a shot ring out. Thought has become action.

There is silence on the stage for a few agonizing moments. Then, over the span of seconds, a small sound begins to nest in our ears. It is the sound of a ringing phone. It becomes clearer, moment by moment until a voice answers. In the complete darkness, the drama continues.

David

Hello?

Salvador

David? David, is that you?

David

Salvador? I thought that we couldnâ�™t talk anymore? We shouldnâ�™t be talking.

Salvador

Our sentence is almost up. Besides, Iâ�™m in the hospital, no one can could possibly know I am talking to you now.

David

I heard that you tried to... hurt yourself? Are you alright, Salvador?

Salvador

I think so. Trick of fate, really. The bullet got stuck in the barrel, created a small explosion. I have some powder burns, a light concussion maybe. Iâ�™ll be fine.

David

Iâ�™m glad. I am so sorry for what I said. God, I wish I could see you now. Hey Salvador? I really miss you

END.

Say Wha? #2

So, uhmmm... If I have a message, why does it say I don't. Huh?

My sexuality.

I've decided I'm buy-sexual: buy me something pretty and I'll get real sexual!